Ilos Can Wait
by Rae D. Magdon
Summary: An explicit extension of the Liara/FemShep romance scene before landing on Ilos. Beware of mush.


**Pairing:** Liara T'Soni/FemShepard

**Spoilers:** Mass Effect 1

**AN: **FemShep is a Paragon, but her first name is never mentioned in order to help immerse any reader into the story.

...

**Ilos Can Wait**

...

"I have never been more sure of anything in my life. Will you join with me, Shepard? Let our bodies and minds unite." Liara T'Soni felt slightly uncomfortable uttering such intimacies, but her request was more than sincere. She craved joining with Shepard more than she could express with mere words. Until they melded, she doubted the human would understand just how much.

"I thought you'd never ask..."

The Commander leaned in for a kiss, not even sure if that was a common practice among the asari, but she did remember Joker's untimely interruption from earlier. "I have no idea what I'm doing," she admitted, cupping Liara's cheek and bringing their lips closer. "You'll have to be patient."

In a surprising show of aggressiveness, Liara was the one who leaned forward and joined their mouths in a deep, hungry kiss. When they finally parted, it was not by choice, and they both panted for air. "I think you will find this less complicated than you expect," the asari said breathlessly. "Our physiology is not that diverse from a human female's. That, among other things, leads some scientists to believe that asari, salarians, turians, quarians, and humans share a very ancient ancestor, or at least that their evolution was guided along similar lines by the Protheans."

"An interesting theory, Dr. T'Soni," Shepard whispered near Liara's cheek, unable to resist letting her hands settle around the asari's waist. "But I believe it needs some testing. How similar are we?"

Sensing that Shepard was still hesitant, although clearly willing to learn, Liara put aside her own shyness and drew the zipper down from the collar of her jumpsuit, leaving it open to reveal just a hint of blue flesh and firm breasts. "I have skin with sensitive nerve endings, just like you. Our DNA contains the same proteins." Liara didn't know whether to be flattered or flustered by the fact that Shepard didn't seem to be listening to her at all. Her eyes were zeroed in on the open portion of her jumpsuit. She decided to go with where the human's attention was directed. "As you have obviously noticed, I have breasts like yours –"

"Better," Shepard couldn't help interrupting, her fingers brushing Liara's away from the zipper and pulling it down to the middle of her abdomen until it would not go any further. "They're beautiful." Not wanting to rush things, she tugged gently at the open flaps of Liara's suit. "May I?" The asari held out her arms to help Shepard pull down the sleeves and leave the upper portion of the garment hanging around her hips. "Keep explaining," the human urged, hoping that talking would ease Liara's nerves as well as provide her with some insight on how to best please her partner.

"Since we mate with many sentient species, our physiology is able to accommodate most of them. I – took the liberty of doing some research when I believed that there might... oh..." the asari's voice trailed off as warm hands cupped her breasts. Her eyes fluttered shut for a moment as she tried to pick up her sentence, but Shepard's touch was a challenging distraction. "T-there might be a mutual attraction," she finally stuttered out.

"These are different," Shepard whispered in wonder, mostly to herself as she continued to explore the landscape of the asari's breasts. "Different good," she clarified when Liara gave her a slightly concerned look, although her eyes remained clouded with pleasure. There were no darker colored aureoles around Liara's nipples, and they were longer and thicker than she was expecting, but the doctor always dressed modestly, so there had been no way to tell until now. "So, tell me more about this research you did..."

Although the tint was different because of Liara's blue skin, her blush was unmistakable. It probably also had something to do with the way Shepard's thumbs were ever so gently grazing the tips of her breasts, coaxing the points to hardness. "I may have viewed some vids on the extranet to better understand human mating rituals. They were very... enlightening."

The Commander grinned. The thought of the shy, withdrawn Liara browsing the extranet for human porn was both amusing and even a little exciting. Obviously, the asari had given this a lot of thought. "You did?" Shepard asked, reluctantly releasing Liara's breasts to untuck the hem of her own black shirt from her pants. She pulled it carelessly over her head. "And did you find anything interesting?"

"Nothing as interesting as what you're showing me," Liara blurted out, her eyes widening as Shepard threw her shirt onto a nearby panel and went to work on her bra. It was designed to keep her breasts out of the way during the workday instead of put them on display for a lover, but Liara found herself entranced by the sight nonetheless. Before she realized what she was doing, the asari found herself reaching out to touch them. "I have grown to admire the color of your skin," she whispered, trailing her fingers along the muscles of Shepard's stomach. "I believe the human term is tan? It seems to glow..."

Even though the gentle touch was driving her crazy, Shepard allowed Liara to slowly explore her torso, arching into the asari's hands as they finally moved to cup her breasts. "And these. They are larger than mine. And so soft..." For the first time, Liara was beginning to understand why many asari praised the physical part of joining even though it was not strictly required. Only the mental connection was needed, but involving touch was definitely a plus. She suspected that all of their melds would probably have a physical side, and the idea was actually very appealing.

"Not so different," the Commander pointed out as her own hands set to work pulling Liara's abandoned jumpsuit down over her generous hips. She was slightly nervous as she removed the last of Liara's clothing, a little unsure of what she would find, but she was also undeniably excited. Heat was building between her legs, and she hoped that Liara would find some way to relieve it. The first thing Shepard noticed when Liara kicked off her jumpsuit was that the asari had no pubic hair to speak of. She was blue everywhere, although the color became darker near the 'v' between her legs.

"Even though 'male' and 'female' have little meaning to us, most species with two sexes consider us female because that is what our sexual organs most closely resemble. We are remarkably similar to humans for being of two different species."

Shepard's mouth opened and closed for a moment, still slightly stunned by the beautiful sight before her. Liara did not seem shy about showing her body, although Shepard could tell that she was nervous about the newness of the experience. Thinking back to all the asari maidens she had seen working as exotic dancers, she wondered if there was no nudity taboo on Thessia. Although she preferred Liara's shy, endearing personality to the stereotypical promiscuity of the dancers, she had to admit that her new lover's body easily rivaled theirs. Maybe someday she'll dance for me, the human thought briefly before dismissing the idea for another time. _'Incentive to survive on Ilos. If – when we survive. We have to survive...'_

"Let me see?" Shepard requested gently, letting her hands caress the small of Liara's back, enjoying the way that the asari shivered at her touch. "I want to understand – I want to please you..."

"Shepard, I can't... stand..." Liara panted, feeling her legs threatening to buckle. The Spectre quickly caught the doctor's arms and gently lowered them both to the floor, with Liara on top of her. Carefully, she rolled the asari onto her back and leaned down for a soft, exploratory kiss. Liara's mouth opened to hers, and Shepard felt confident enough to nibble lightly on the asari's lower lip. Somehow, her hands began stroking the folds and dips of skin around Liara's head. There was softness there, particularly at the folds behind her neck, and more give than a human skull, but she could also feel a hard layer of bone for protection. The touch made her lover hum with pleasure, and Shepard correctly surmised that the tendrils at the base of her neck were an erogenous zone.

"Our central nervous system, including our brain, requires more space to send out beta waves and effectively meld with other asari and the many different species we join with. But they are very sensitive..."

After giving the spot a little more attention, Shepard scattered a trail of kisses over Liara's throat and collarbone, letting her hands drift back down to one of their favorite places near the asari's hips. "Is it all right if I...?"

Instead of answering with words, Liara grabbed the human's hand and guided it between her legs. Shepard gasped as she felt wetness and heat, and sighed with relief as she realized that she was in somewhat familiar territory. The wetness that Liara's body produced was different, thin and incredibly slick like a light oil, and the scent was surprisingly heavy and sweet. As her fingers began a slow, cautious exploration, Liara tried to find her voice and explain exactly what the human was feeling.

"Since we use a partner to map our daughters' DNA, we have some choice in the physical traits we pass on. Because we almost always mate with other species, our sexual organs are roughly analogous." Liara noticed the Spectre wrinkle her nose at the clinical terminology, but wasn't sure how else to express herself. "We have a different organ besides the ovaries for DNA sequencing, but we have what you would call a womb, a cervix, and – ahhh... t-that..."

Shepard smirked as her thumb found a slightly hard, ridge-like spot above Liara's entrance. "A clitoris?" she murmured, rubbing in the same pattern as before.

"Y-yes... the shape is different, but the concept – oh, please... Shepard!" Her eyes squeezed shut briefly as the Spectre's mouth pressed back against hers. "I – I want..."

"What do you want?" the Commander whispered against the asari's lips. Her fingers had changed direction and were gently probing at Liara's opening, obviously searching for something.

"I believe human females have a barrier if they have not joined before? Asari do not."

She felt the muscular body above her relax slightly, and Shepard's face smiled down at her. "Good. The last thing I want to do is hurt you."

"Please," Liara said, although the word came out more like a strangled sob. "I need – more..." She arched her back, bucking her hips slightly as one of Shepard's fingers eased inside of her. "Good," she said, "but not the more I need..." It had been hard, so hard, for Liara to keep her nervous system from touching Shepard's, but she had wanted to give the human a chance to explore and learn about her body before their minds touched.

The Commander suddenly realized what Liara was talking about. The joining. Two minds becoming one. Unlike the physical part, this mental connection was completely alien to her, and she had no idea what to do. She suspected it would be very different from the brief melds that Liara had initiated before to recover her memories of the Protheans. That had been painful for her and tiring for the asari, but perhaps that was because the subject matter was so horrific. She hoped this would be more pleasant.

"What do you want me to do?" she asked, cupping Liara's cheek as her other hand rested comfortably between her lover's legs.

"Just relax... and embrace eternity."

Liara's eyes suddenly went black, and Shepard felt an awareness brushing against the edge of her mind. It was gentle, much like Liara's touch, giving her a few moments to get acclimated to its 'presence' before probing deeper. Shepard's vision began to swim, and then, suddenly, there was nothing but Liara.

_Warmth. So much warmth. And safe. Secure. Like a blanket. Wrapped in love._

Somewhere in the distance, she could feel Liara's hands on her body, could feel the asari's wetness coating fingers. But Liara was within her. Her heart, her mind, her soul, all three... she wasn't sure. But she was within.

_A thousand lights. Falling into Liara's eyes. Everything that made Liara._

It felt like every good thing in the world was flowing through her with both of her heartbeats. Two heartbeats. There were two heartbeats... and then the two heartbeats became one heartbeat, one rhythm, and Shepard felt her hand begin to move. She was aware on two different levels and floated between them like falling through water and then being buoyed up again. She experienced flashes of what their bodies were doing – her thumb settled over Liara's bundle of nerves and stroked it, causing the asari's inner muscles to twitch around her fingers – and then there was Liara in her mind, touching her, like a soft, warm light, a welcoming star.

_'We are... one. We. Us. Whole.'_

_'Yes...'_

There were no specific pictures, not this time, except for the endless black light of Liara's eyes. Perhaps a mating meld was different than a normal meld, or perhaps Liara was trying not to deluge her with memories during their first time, but what she did receive was the very essence of Liara, all of her, her emotions, her hopes, her fears, her love. The whole of her. The core. It was so bright and beautiful that Shepard felt her eyes sting. And somehow, she knew that Liara was feeling her, all of her, too. Because she was a part of Liara now, she was with her and she was her, and she could feel what Liara felt. She was suddenly aware that she could feel something penetrating her even though Liara's hand was not between her legs yet. Liara confirmed her thoughts.

_'Yes, love. You feel your fingers inside of me, through me.'_

Just to be sure, she made a slow but deep thrust forward, using her thigh for leverage, and she felt both sides of the action. She was part of Liara, feeling what Liara was feeling, and the pleasure doubled as soon as Liara's hand did physically take its place between her legs. Shepard jumped at the sensation of Liara's fingers grazing her clitoris, and also at the echo of Liara's pleasure as she experienced the same touch. It was like two mirrors endlessly reflecting each other back and forth. She felt pleasure, Liara felt her pleasure, and she felt Liara feel her pleasure.

They fell into a rhythm. The rhythm of us and we. "I" had little meaning anymore. Their minds ran together, bleeding over into each other. No longer Shepard and Liara, two separate consciousnesses. They were, as Liara had described, completely entwined, one rapturous whole.

_'This is more than we ever could have imagined...'_

_'Yes... So much more.'_

Shepard had no idea where her thoughts ended and Liara's began. They overlapped and twined around each other and blurred together. She didn't know whose body she inhabited anymore. She only knew that the physical sensations were exquisite, craving, so blissful that they were almost painful, and so deeply embedded was Liara's consciousness in hers that she could feel the same from the asari.

All the walls that either of them had ever built around their hearts came crashing down. Shepard knew what it was to be Liara, and Liara knew what it was to be Shepard.

_'We can't stop – going to...'_

_'Close... Embrace Eternity.'_

Release came crashing down on both of them at the same time. All the physical sensations, the mental joining, both nervous systems overloaded until they could hardly see, could hardly hear, were only aware of the bond, the pleasure, the intense heat. It felt like the birth of a star. The end and the beginning of the world. There was a shout, a hoarse cry of pleasure sounded, but neither of them knew which throat it escaped from. Some of their awareness refocused on their physical bodies, because there was tightening heat around fingers, a release of warmth and wetness, heavy but blissful contractions. The moment of ecstasy seemed to last much longer than the few seconds it probably took in real time, but it felt like an eternity. Even so, when it began to fade, it was still too soon.

When Shepard began to regain an awareness of herself, although some parts still leaked out of the borderlines that confined "her" and into Liara, she realized that it would be impossible to gather all of herself back. Some of "her" had been left within Liara, and she could feel part of Liara kept within her as well. Instinctively, she knew that these parts would never return to their original owners. But that was all right. Perfect, even. They belonged to each other anyway. Belonged to each other in a deep, indescribable way that went beyond mere words.

The human suddenly realized that her fingers were still embedded deep within Liara, and her other hand was toying with the asari's left breast, rolling the nipple between her thumb and forefinger. Her lips were pressed to Liara's, and they shared one breath. _'By the Goddess, Shepard... I never knew...'_ Their minds were still connected and did not require spoken words.

_'That was... We were...'_

Liara laughed as another of Shepard's thoughts crossed her mind. _'Oh my God, everyone has to try this – not with you! Only me... I meant...'_

_'You are kind, Shepard. I will take that as a compliment towards my people and not a... suggestion.' _The Doctor knew that some humans were frightened, intimidated, and even disgusted by the asari melding process. They considered it an invasion – alien mind probes or something – and Shepard's thoughts had simply been disbelief at how mistaken those doubters were.

"Let me share a memory with you?" Liara asked gently, using her voice this time instead of her thoughts. Shepard's eyes refocused and looked down at her curiously. "It is a common practice during or after melding. Joined couples often trade pleasant memories to grow closer... or occasionally not very pleasant, but meaningful memories. Usually nice ones in order to bond, though."

"Unpleasant memories?" Shepard croaked, her voice hoarse. She had a feeling that she had been the one that screamed at the height of their pleasure, since her throat felt scratchy and sore, but for all she knew, it could have been both of them.

"We have already shared unpleasant memories, although not as part of a joining."

The Commander shuddered as she remembered the vivid imagery of the Protheans' destruction. It would be nice to share a pleasant memory with Liara instead. When she smiled her acceptance, the asari's eyes became black reflective pools once more, and Shepard found herself once again a part of Liara.

_She was small, much smaller than she could ever remember being in recent memory, and she was on someone's lap. That someone loved her. They said so, although it was in her thoughts. "I love you, my beautiful Little Wing."_

_She recognized her mother's voice – Liara's mother's voice – and the part of her that was still something of Shepard realized that her lover was sharing something incredibly precious with her. This was Benezia, untainted by Saren and Sovereign, and back at the height of her matron days. She handed small-Liara a flower, a flower that was unrecognizable to Shepard by obviously familiar to Liara, and she felt her cheeks crinkle in a child's smile._

Something gently began tugging at her mind, and she realized that present-Liara was gently pulling her back. The picture began to fade, and she willingly returned to her lover's arms and the warm, pleasant sensation of Liara's hands stroking the chorded muscles of her back. Shepard was surprised to find her cheeks stained with tears, although for all she knew, they could have been that way before the memory. She wouldn't have been surprised if the sheer beauty of joining with Liara had made her cry. "Thank you..."

"I wanted you to see her as she was, before Saren's presence clouded her mind and his teeth whispered at her ear."

"I saw. I understood."

Carefully, not wanting to startle or hurt Liara, Shepard withdrew her fingers and felt her lover do the same. There was emptiness, but Liara compensated with a soft pulse of love and connectedness across their minds, and Shepard felt full again in a place deep within her heart. "That was the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me," the human confessed as she rolled onto her side, propping her chin up with one hand and gazing down at the naked form of her blue-skinned bondmate.

"I can only think of one thing more beautiful, and that must wait."

The part of Liara that was still within Shepard shivered briefly with familiarity, but the human was still confused. "What is that?"

"Conceiving a child with you."

For a brief, terrifying moment, Shepard empathized with what a human male probably felt when they realized they had just had unprotected sex and might be getting a surprise in nine months. "I didn't – you're not..."

Liara chuckled, resting her head against Shepard's shoulder and closing her eyes. "No. Trust me, you would be able to tell if I was mapping your DNA. Unlike humans, asari can choose when to conceive. You wouldn't... mind raising children not of your own species? Our daughters would be asari."

"Our daughters would be beautiful," Shepard corrected. "They would have a part of me and a part of you, and from what I just experienced, that sounds just about perfect."

"I love you..."

And those words put whatever doubts Shepard had at peace. It did not matter that they were about to embark on a mission that might kill them and doom the entire galaxy. Shepard knew that she had to come out alive because she was no longer fighting for her own survival. She had always thought of herself as "fighting for others", and in theory, she was more than willing to sacrifice her life to save the rest of the galaxy. But this was different, personal in a way that was too powerful to describe. She had to survive, because Liara owned a piece of her now, and she carried part of Liara with her. She could not allow that to be extinguished. Not by Saren, not by the Reapers, not by anyone. The absolute purity and beauty of the connection they had just shared would never be tainted.

"I love you, too," she whispered as she felt Liara drifting off to sleep against her shoulder. She could tell that the poor asari was exhausted, and after a first time like that, Shepard wasn't surprised. Her own eyes were threatening to close. Finally, she surrendered to sleep, her arms still wrapped tightly around Liara, holding her close. Ilos would have to wait a few more minutes.


End file.
